The Cake Is A Lie
by ThurmanMermanPlx
Summary: Fem!Red visits Fem!Green and announces they are to bake a cake for Yellow's birthday.  Somehow this leads to intense licking, grabbing, and other steamy goodness. Yellow isn't getting that cake, is she? Nope. Much RedxGreen. Whatisthisidonteven...


"Wh-what are you doing here?" Green asked as she stared into the face of Red. The black-haired girl had shown up at her door completely unannounced and unexpected.

"We're baking a cake," Red said nonchalantly as she pushed passed Green and, after letting Pikachu off her shoulder to play with Green's Eevee, headed for her kitchen.

"A cake? What the hell for?" Green huffed angrily, and slammed the door.

"Yellow's birthday," Red replied, whipping a cake recipe from her jacket's front pocket. She proceeded to raid Green's refrigerator. "You're out of eggs."

"Of course I am!" Green raged. "You know I don't do my shopping until Thursdays! You… you don't just come bursting into someone's house and… and…"

Red turned to Green with an indifferent expression she had come to expect from her quiet rival. "Please?" Red begged in her usual, almost monotone, voice.

Green looked absolutely furious, but nothing could hide the pink that flushed her cheeks. She didn't know what caused it, she only knew that every time Red asked for a favor, she couldn't say no, no matter how infuriating, inconvenient, or random it was.

"Okay, okay, fine!" she burst. Red's face twisted into what she considered a grin before turning back to the refrigerator. "By the way, the eggs are actually in the drawers at the bottom."

Red said nothing as she glanced down, nodding in confirmation, and retrieved the eggs. While she gathered the remaining frozen ingredients, Green set about retrieving all the various bowls, measuring cups, mixers, and other assorted items that would be required for cake baking, while at the same time brushing her previous project – cooking her Christmas turkey dinner – into the trash to make room on the counter. After all, she'd never have it done on time now.

After everything was set out, the two girls got to work. Red began making the delicious chocolate icing, having a fascination with the sticky brown substance. Green, meanwhile, took on the job of preparing the cake batter.

Green hated baking. She was never any good at it. She would probably have been better off making the icing; Red knew this. _In fact_, Green thought, _Red probably planned it this way on purpose_. Green scowled at she though this, and glared at Red next to her, "happily" licking some chocolate off her fingers. As if to add insult to injury, Red quickly noticed Green watching her intently, and proceeded to squirt chocolate syrup all over Green's white t-shirt.

"What the…? You little bitch!" Green bellowed. "This was my last clean shirt! And do you even know how badly chocolate stains?" Red just chuckled, returning to her icing bowl.

Green sighed, slamming down the spoon she was holding so hard that it broke a piece of the rim of the glass bowl off. Ignoring this, she proceeded to lift her shirt over her head and toss it lazily to the floor behind her. Pikachu and Eevee wandered over to the pair, not because of Green's outburst – they were far too used to those by now – but to inspect the t-shirt covered in chocolate now lying in front of them, their tongues hanging out greedily.

Red chanced a glance over at Green as she picked up her spoon and began inspecting her batter for shards of glass. She smirked again as she noticed Green's sparkling white bra, but this time, Green was ready for her.

"If one single drop of that chocolate finds its way to my bra, you'll be washing chocolate out of your hair until _next_ Christmas."

Red was not deterred, however; Green turned completely away from her in order to plug in her electric mixer, and the second she turned back to face Red, the black haired girl launched a squirt of chocolate out of the bottle, which proceeded to splatter all over Green's white bra, as well her exposed chest.

"God damn it, Red!" Green shouted loudly, attempting to wipe off the chocolate with her hands; needless to say, this proved useless, doing nothing but smearing the sticky material over any remaining white area left on the front of her bra. Red continued to giggle like a schoolgirl as Green reached for a paper towel, holding her now chocolate-coated hand unintentionally in front of Red's face. Without even thinking, she quickly grabbed Green's hand, shoved two fingers into her mouth, and began sucking on them happily.

Green immediately stopped wiping her front and glared bullets at Red, who was completely oblivious. Green was just about to yank her hand out of Red's mouth and scold her again, but just before she did, she stopped… something about watching Red's content expression while gleefully sucking on chocolate was unusually cute to her.

Seconds later, she physically facepalmed with her free hand. _What the hell am I thinking?_ she thought to herself. She forcefully yanked her hand away from Red; for a split second, she thought she saw an actual emotion cross Red's face – sadness? But the black haired girl quickly recovered, smirked at Green, and proceeded to make construct her icing.

Green returned her attention to her bowl as well, but her mind had broken. What the hell had just gone through her mind? _Red, cute? I'm losing my mind_, she thought. Even so, she turned her head slightly to stare at her rival again. She had taken off her red jacket and even her cap while she mixed her icing. For once, she seemed intent on her task, and this suited Green just fine. Revenge was a dish best served when your target was oblivious.

Green stealthily lifted her bowl of batter, and tapped Red on the shoulder. Red looked over curiously and Green hastily pulled at Red's black t-shirt so hard, she swore she heard it tear, and poured the bowl of unfinished cake batter down Red's front. For her part, Red always seemed to be in control of her emotions to the point where normal people gave her the weirdest looks, and now was no exception. She simply stared forward into Green's eyes as she let Red's shirt out of her grasp, allowing the cake batter to slide down the front of Red's body and legs.

Without a word, Red lifted up her shirt, pulled it over her head, and tossed it on top of Green's discarded white one. In addition, she unzipped her blue jeans and casually stepped out of them as well, as if she were alone in her bedroom preparing to sleep. Green blushed slightly as he stared at Red's flawless curves, feeling a strange mixture of emotions – anger that her attack hadn't seemed to bother Red in the slightest, and something akin to lust. Much to Green's surprise, her blush deepened furiously as Red proceeded to unclip her black bra and slide it off as well. It was only after she tossed it into the ever-growing pile of clothing and turned to stare at Green did Green manage to speak.

"Wh-what the hell are you _doing_?" she spat out.

"Baking a cake," Red replied.

Green stuttered, her mouth hanging open as she tried to form a coherent sentence, but eventually gave up and allowed herself to stare, drooling, at the half-naked Red, who had resumed mixing her icing.

It was several minutes until Red finally turned back to Green, still staring. "Is the batter done yet?"

This seemed to snap brunette back to reality… sort of. "Is… batter… what?" she babbled. "No, the batter isn't ready! I just poured it all over you!"

"Oh," Red replied calmly. "That was silly. Now you have to start over."

"Start over?" Green screamed. "Start over? Are you kidding me? I… you…"

"Shh," Red whispered, putting a chocolate-coated finger up to Green's lips. She licked it absentmindedly, allowing Red to easily slide her whole finger into Green's mouth. Green's eyes widened in shock, but she had no urge to resist; rather, she enjoyed the taste of Red's icing in her mouth for a moment, before Red took her finger back, her "grin" face back again.

"That…" Green stumbled over her words again. "That icing… wasn't your breast. Best! I mean best!" Her face turned as red as Red's jacket.

In response, Red took a large spoon, scooped up a large glob of chocolate from her icing bowl, and drizzled it down her chest. Green watched as the chocolate slowly slid around Red's curves, mixing with the remains of the cake batter, until it reached the end, where gravity took hold of it and pulled it to the floor.

Red turned her gaze back to Green. "Is this better?" she asked.

Green couldn't answer. Not for a lack of trying, but because her mind was spinning so fast out of control that she couldn't get a grasp on it. As she waited, Red brushed her fingers across her own chest and then shoved them into her mouth. After a few seconds, she broke the silence: "I don't know. You try it."

With as much dignity as she could muster, Green attempted to reach for the bowl of icing behind Red. Unfortunately for her, Red pushed the bowl out of Green's reach. She'd practically have to climb over her to get to it now. Red stood there in her way, waiting.

With a sigh, Green reached out a hand and brushed her fingers as lightly as she could against Red's breasts. Red, however, didn't appear satisfied.

"Did you get enough? Here." And with that, Red took Green's hand and brushed it much more fiercely across her chest, wiping off and smearing much more chocolate and batter. Now content, she released Green's hand and stared at her, waiting for her to taste it.

Green reluctantly put her fingers into her mouth again. The stuff tasted no different to her, though in all honesty, she barely registered it. Her mind was too preoccupied with the feel of Red's soft breasts… the smoothness, even though they were coated with food, the way they comfortably fit into Green's palm…

"God damn it!" Green shouted. "You're trying to drive me crazy, aren't you?"

In response, Red poked at Green's chocolate-spotted bra. "This must be uncomfortable."

"It's fine," Green replied. "I'll wash it later."

But Red had other plans. She reached over and pulled out the retractable faucet on the kitchen sink and, ignoring Green's pleas of "No! No! I'll wash it later!", proceeded to blast her with the icy cold water.

"YOU-" Green bellowed, "-are a crazy mother fucker!"

Red paid her no attention, however; instead, she turned the hose on herself, spraying her chest with water, practically bathing in Green's kitchen. Green could only hope she could pass this off as some sort of flood damage.

After Red finished and returned the hose, she slipped off her now soaking underwear and dumped them into the pile of clothing. Pikachu and Eevee apparently took off running as the water came raining down, as they were now nowhere in sight and the pile of clothing was now sopping wet. She then grabbed a roll of paper towels and began drying off her naked body. As she did so, she glanced at Green and said: "You're going to get a cold if you stay in those wet clothes."

Green remained still, however, until Red finished drying herself off. With a visible sigh, she inched closer to Green, and wrapped her arms around her. Green attempted to speak again, but simply stuttered as Red removed Green's chocolate-stained bra and added it to the pile. However, instead of pulling away, Red wrapped her arms tighter around Green, pressing her body up against her rival's.

As Green felt Red's soft breasts pushing up against her own, she caved. She threw her own arms around her rival and they stared into each other's eyes. Red only took this as a sign to keep going, however, and slid one hand down Green's soaking wet pants.

"Now wait a minute…" Green choked out, but she couldn't get any other words to come out as Red slowly pulled down both her pants and underwear at the same time, until they were loose enough to fall to the ground on their own.

And then, Green did something that shocked them both – She leaned in and kissed Red, furiously and passionately. Though surprised, Red did not argue, and instead returned it with just as much heat. The two of them stood there, completely naked, bodies and lips entwined with each other for longer than either of them could count, until eventually, they needed air and broke part. Even Red was blushing slightly, and although it was nowhere near the color of Green's face, it may as well have signaled the apocalypse anyway for the sheer fact that it happened, however slight.

Despite all that, Green couldn't resist, and eventually slid her hands from Red's back to her chest and began to fondle her breasts. Red simply giggled, showing no sign of wanting it to end. She seemed to be, for what it's worth, _enjoying herself_. She only proved this further as she proceeded to fondle Green's breasts in quite a similar matter. After several minutes, both girls were moaning happily, until Red couldn't hold out any longer. She slowly pulled away, leaned in and kissed Green's chest quickly, and then before Green even knew what was happening, Red lifted her into her arms and began to carry her down the hallways to Green's bedroom.

* * *

><p>It was several hours later when both girls collapsed on Green's bed, panting heavily. Red lay next to Green, one hand gently squeezing her rival's breast and the other one down between her legs, while her head lay on Green's shoulder. Green, meanwhile, was still whimpering excitedly.<p>

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Red asked, her voice just as calm as ever despite the fact that she was breathing heavily and her heart was beating faster than she had ever known possible. Green could only moan in response, as Red's hands were still all over her.

Suddenly, the door burst in and a blonde haired girl entered the room.

"Reeeeed, is my cake rea-" she stopped dead when she saw the two girls naked and fondling each other.

Green looked mortified as Yellow's mouth fell open, her hand still on the doorknob. Red, as usual, was expressionless.

The three stared at each other for what Green thought was an eternity. Less than a minute later, Yellow was on top of both of them, just as deprived of clothing as her friends.

As Green eagerly took one of Yellow's breasts in her hand, Yellow turned to Red and asked: "So… I guess I'm not getting that cake, am I?"


End file.
